Home Sweet Home

I'M HOME!!!! It was good seeing friends and family in the States but I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be home again. My furniture, my art, my space. Dorothy truly had it right!

Almost Sept. Already

Again, it has been months since I've posted anything, and in that time so much has happened. First, I got an A in that Psychology class I was taking, which was very exciting. Selah is fully crawling now. Genesis is my joy as always.

Less exciting is that we found out that my mom has cancer, again! And to top that off the same week my parent's found out about Mom's cancer, my dad's employer of almost thirty years, decides that it would be financial beneficial to lay my dad off just about three years before retirement. So now Mom is sick and Dad is unemployed. So at their request the girls and I flew to the states and have been here close to two months. In a couple of days Srikant will come and join us for the last 10 days of our stay.

My mom's cancer seems to be improving. The tumors were wrapped around her syatic nerve causeing a great deal of pain, but that pain has reduced. Unfortunatly, she has become extremely weak and unable to use her legs, so they have admited her in the hospital for a closer watch. Long term, they expect complete remission of the cancer, but we will have to see if she will get her legs back. This is expecially difficult since my parents live in a raised ranch and it is impossible to get in and out without stairs.

My dad is looking for work while keeping regular vigial over my mom. It has been really tough. (By the way for anyone who may happen to know my grandmother, they don't want to worry her, so she doesn't know about Dad's work situation). He is a good man though and loves her immensely.

At the end of the month (Sept) my brother and his wife are planning on moving in with my folks for a while. I hope that they will be able to help my parents since I really must get my girls home.

Anyway, the girls and I are anxious to get home and back to our lives. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful life in Belgium. I feel guilty about leaving when mom is still so sick but everyone who is close to me assures me that I have done above and beyond and that there is nothing more I can do and that it is important to get Genesis back to her life. As you can see, I must keep reminding myself of this. Please continue to pray for my parents and myself and my little girls too.

It's about time!

So it has been several months since I have gotten on this thing...sorry to anyone who cares. I could say that it is because they put my dashboard in French, that life has been busy, that I just couldn't think of anything worth writing about, or give many other excuses, and they would all be true. I'll just give a run down of my family and get you all caught up.

Srikant (husband)
He is doing great. Excited that his mom might be coming to visit in the fall. He also recently found out that he won a huge award for the job he did while we were in Albuquerque. He is too humble to let others know, but I'm very proud of him. He is so amazing at taking difficult, not fun situations, and working his tail end off to make them work and doing an excellent job at whatever he puts his mind to.

Genesis
My love! She is great as usual. She is so smart and so full of life. I often just sit in amazement that such a terrific kid is mine. She loves me so much, and I am head over heals in love with her. She is another reason I haven't been on much, she has recently discovered computer games and is hooked! We also have made a decision for her for next fall (I think this one will stick). We decided that we don't like the school she is in, the local schools would be too much for her, and yet she needs to be challenged. We thought we had finally settled the matter when we found out a Kindergarten teacher at the American school was teaching them how to read. We knew she was a little young (her birthday is literally on the cut off) but she will love being able to read. Unfortunately, when I went to register her today we found out that the teacher we heard about won't be teaching kindergarten next year. So we have decided to keep her home and home school to the best of my schedule. I think she will be happy with that and hopefully we can keep her challenged and happy and still allow me to continue my schooling.

Selah
What a treasure. I keep asking myself how I got so blessed. Just to think I thought I never would have babies and now I have two such unbelievable kids. She is fun and animated like her big sister. She is trying to crawl now. It's fun to watch. Foot, knee, face, foot, knee, face and then she stops for a rest. The most difficult part is that now that she can go from lying down to sitting up it's hard to get her to go back to sleep when she doesn't want to go to bed. She used to eventually cry herself to sleep but now she is sitting straight up and its easier for her to fight it. She is so strong! She also has two teeth now and wants to eat anything I'll let her try.

My Mom
Unfortunately, my best friend and mother is not very happy right now. We just got the word that she has cancer...again. She has an appointment with a surgeon on Thursday and will get more info then, I hope. Keep her in your prayers. As you know she is a fighter but sometimes it's just not fair that one person should have to fight so much.

My Dad
It's just days after Father's day and I must say that my dad is one fabulous man. He loves me and my girls so much and best of all loves my mom. He is sticking with her through this and supporting her like I've never seen another do for their wife. Again, I'm so terribly blessed.

As for Me
I'm doing good. Frustrated at little things like the fact that our water heater keeps turning itself off. I'm also trying to fight some of my health issues which is always disconcerting. I am excited about having Genesis home though and I'm hoping that I'll do well by her and teach her how to read this summer and into next year. I'm also working hard on school. I'm just finishing my first class back after over two years of break. Social Psychology. I also just completed my paper for this class and got an A so that was amazingly exciting and encouraging. I've also just started a statistic class...much less exciting, but necessary for my major. One foot in front of the other and some day I'm gonna finally get that degree. My girls won't get a choice, I don't care what life trys to throw at them, I'm making sure they get their degrees right after high school!

Get A Life

In the past couple of days three of my closest friends (including the one I married) have told me that I need to get a life. Ok, so that is not completely accurate. What they really said was that I need to find something that I can do for fun. Something that gets me excited. They mean this to encourage me. I, on the other hand, have just gotten discouraged. In the past I have tried reading, cross stitch, video games, Logic puzzles, knitting, photography, the list goes on. I enjoy them for a time and then stop feeling challenged and get bored and don't pick them back up. I used to love theater but I can't do that anymore ‘cause I'm a full time mommy. Apparently, that doesn't count 'cause "God made you a mommy and so it shouldn't supersede your love for life." Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mommy, but apparently that doesn't count either cause it's my job, not what I do for fun. I'm also back in school...but again not what I do for fun. It would be great to have something like Kim's drawing or Mama T's quilting but I just haven't found my nitch. For someone with such an exciting life, my life sure seems boring :-) Hey lookey here, I found something new to stress about...maybe that is my hobby, stressing.

Ok, so I don't really think that stressing is a hobby. In actuality I don't even believe that I overly stress. It is just a great descriptive word to say that I'm figuring things out. I do that a lot you know, try to figure things out. It is simply because I want to do what is best for myself, my girls, and this entire family. I like writing about it though. Actually, what I think I really learned through this whole process is that I like to write. Some things are personal (even for me) so you may not see everything I write, but maybe someday, if I keep writing, I will have enough for a book and I could actually be an encouragement to other mom's who are "figuring things out." It's a lofty idea and may or may not be realistic, but it's fun to dream big and who knows how God plans to use me? Could be His plans for me are far bigger than any goal or dream I could set for myself. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

Phew

Those that know me, know I sometimes have a tendency to stress, well about anything. I go from topic to topic and eat away at all the possibilities and decisions I could or should make. Early in this blog, I stressed about what to do with Genesis' education. If you have followed my blogs you can see that stress has been alleviated as a decision has been made. So I moved my stress elsewhere. Lately, the stressor has been my education. I wrote in my last blog that I was going back to school. So I stressed. Am I doing the right thing? Is it what is best for the girls? Will I be able to handle it? Stress, stress, stress... Guess what!? I made a decision :-) Today, Srikant said "I think you should just take one class KC. Just take an online class. That way it doesn't take time away from the girls and you can get back into the swing of school on your own schedule." As soon as he said it, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Such a simple decision, and yet until he said it, I couldn't come to it on my own. I'm happy and looking for something new to stress about. Any suggestions?

Purchased and Ready To Go

Ticket to Dubai and reservations for the IBC women's Conference purchased and ready to go. Registration for English 303, Critical Approaches to Literature and Psyc. 321, Social Psychology purchased and ready to go. Home schooling curriculum from Sonlight for Genesis, purchased and ready to go.

For more info on my upcoming trip to Dubai you can click on http://www.ibc-churches.org/women/dubai.html. Billy Grahm and Ravi Zacharias' daughters are both speakers. I am going with two other women from the church and Selah and Genesis are staying home with Papa. I'm excited and already missing the girls all at the same time. We are expecting this to be a once in a lifetime experience.

I begin my classes at the end of the month. The Lit class is a requirement for my minor in literature. I chose this minor simply because I used to have this amazing Lit teacher who I took every class she taught while I was living in Italy. Now I have several classes under way and will only need a few more to complete the Minor. The Psyc. class will be the first class I take towards gaining a BS in Psychology. Wish me luck ‘cause it's been ten years since I've taken Psyc. 100.

Finally, the home schooling curriculum. We are really excited about it. Our plan for now (though we are still checking into the local schools and it's viability as an option) is that in the fall Genesis will attend school locally in the mornings and then after lunch and a nap, home school in the afternoons. We are hoping that this will allow her to learn the language here as well as continue to challenge her academically. She is such a bright kid and loves to learn. She thinks "working" (on some store bought Preschool & Kindergarten workbooks) is a lot of fun and it's a real fight to get her to quit. We also just received home school curriculum designed to teach her the language here. It is designed for Kindergarten to 4th graders and I'm hoping we will both learn from it.

Well that's everything going on in our life. A whole lot coming up but in reality not too much happening right now.

Who are you, who who...

Why is it that we are different people to different people? Why is the personality we portray as a wife, mother, friend, peer, and stranger so diverse? That of course is not to mention the person I am when I am all alone. Why can't I take the person I am that I like the best and always be that persons? On paper it seems so simple but in reality it never works out that way. Sometimes I am nice and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm funny and witty and other times I'm just a dork. Sometimes I'm patient and understanding, and sometimes I just want to get it done. Sometimes I'm intelligent and intuitive; other times I can't get a simple thought together. Sometimes I'm strong and brave, other times I'm afraid to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes I'm cocky and arrogant thinking I'm superior, sometimes I feel as though I'm the lowest person in the world. If I'm confident and compassionate with you, than why can't I be confident and compassionate with her? If I'm wise and witty with him, why can't I be wise and witty with them? It’s a strange phenomenon, and who knows maybe it's just me. Are you who you are no matter who you are?

Back on Track

I am so excited to see my life coming back into focus. Between two overseas moves, my slipped disks, and baby Selah the last two years have flown by with only Selah to show for it. I felt like I had lost sight of my direction and what I wanted to do. Tonight I registered for online classes. Monday I will sign up for one more class to take here on the base. Tonight I am excited about where my life is going. I have my sweet girls and pray the future will continue to bring more additions to our family and I'm excited about not giving up my dream of being college educated. I may be the first one in my immediate family line to actually complete a BS. I can't wait to get going.

Blogging is addictive

So now I have my MySpace account up and a Blogger account. I keep looking at everyone else's to find fun new ways to spruce them up. I sign on at what is 3:30 in the morning in Chicago hoping to see someone not able to sleep, sorry guys. I check every email address and blog sight to see if I might have a new message. My heart sinks a bit when I don't see anything and skips a beat when I see someone has something to say to me. I'm not just pathetic, I promise, I'm in the transition of a move. The first year you are trying to settle and you miss everyone you ignored for the past however many years you lived in your last place. Eventually you have lived someplace long enough to have new friends on your speed dial list and it's hard to find time to get online and soon you let long gaps go without talking to your loved ones. Sorry if I have negleceted y'all. I need you now though...and who knows? Maybe I will always be this excited about looking for new messages and always look to find new ways to spruce it up and make it newer and better :-)

For Stephanie

I created this blog at the advice of my bf Steph as a way to help keep in touch while I'm living the life of an Air Force Wife. We are in our third home in three years, but as I've been able to live in some of the greatest places in the world and seen so many other great places, I should not complain. Now, I call Belgium home. We are living in this cute little house and now that our "stuff" is here it's taking on the title home. Srikant (my hubby) just spent the past week working off his patooty getting everything set up. No one could tell looking at our place that we just moved here. I think the girls (Genesis 4 and Selah 5 mo.) are adjusting wonderfully. Genesis misses her old preschool, but I think her gymnastics program is better here than what we had in NM. Thank you Coach Robin for preparing her to be ready for it. For the most part Selah is happy as long as she has her mommy. I too am trying to adjust. I think I'm having more problems adjusting to my little girl growing up than I am the new surroundings. Getting aclimated to a new place can be very lonely sometimes, so I love getting messeges from friends... remind me I'm not such a loser :-)